Three Scots and three Irishmen were traveling by train to attend a conference in another city. As they stood in line at the station, the Irishmen each purchased a ticket, making sure they all had one for the journey. To their surprise, the three Scots only bought a single ticket between them.
One of the Irishmen couldn’t help but ask, “How can three people travel with only one ticket?”
A Scot smiled and replied, “Just watch.”
Curious but unconvinced, the Irishmen boarded the train and took their seats. The Scots, however, headed straight for a restroom and squeezed all three of themselves inside before locking the door.
A short while after departure, the conductor began checking tickets.
“Tickets, please!” he called as he moved through the train.
When he reached the restroom, he knocked on the door.
“Ticket, please.”
The door opened just a crack, and a hand emerged holding a ticket. The conductor inspected it, handed it back, and continued on his way.
The Irishmen watched in amazement.
“That’s brilliant,” one of them whispered.
After the conference ended, the groups found themselves returning home on the same train. Determined to save money, the Irishmen decided to copy the Scots’ strategy and purchased just one ticket for all three of them.
Then they noticed something even stranger.
The Scots hadn’t bought a ticket at all.
“Now how are you going to travel without any ticket?” an Irishman asked.
The Scot simply grinned.
“Watch and you’ll see.”
When the train arrived, the Irishmen hurried into one restroom and locked the door behind them. The Scots entered a different restroom farther down the carriage.
Soon after the train pulled away from the station, one of the Scots quietly stepped out of his restroom and walked down the aisle.
He stopped outside the restroom where the Irishmen were hiding.
Then he knocked on the door.
“Ticket, please.”
Later that same day, an Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scotsman were walking together along a beach when they stumbled across an old brass lantern half-buried in the sand.
The Scotsman rubbed it.
A genie burst out in a cloud of smoke.
“Thank you for freeing me!” the genie announced. “As a reward, I will grant each of you one wish.”
The Scotsman stepped forward first.
“My family has been fishing for generations,” he said. “My father was a fisherman, his father was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I wish all the oceans of the world were filled with fish forever.”
The genie snapped his fingers.
Instantly, every ocean teemed with fish.
The Englishman was impressed.
“I want a giant wall around England,” he declared. “A wall so strong and secure that nobody can ever get in.”
The genie nodded.
With another snap, an enormous barrier appeared, stretching around the entire country.
The Englishman smiled proudly.
The Irishman looked thoughtful.
“Tell me more about this wall.”
The genie replied, “It’s about 150 feet high and 50 feet thick. Nothing can get in, and nothing can get out.”
The Irishman considered this carefully.
Then he grinned.
“In that case,” he said, “fill it with water.”
